Matt and Friends Drink the Universe
Welcome to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe, the podcast where comedy and great drinks collide! Join host Matt and a rotating crew of friends as they sample unique beers, wines, cocktails, and spirits, diving into the stories, history, and science behind each sip.
Packed with laughs, hilarious anecdotes, fun trivia, and drinking games, our show offers a laid-back yet enlightening experience for anyone who enjoys a good drink with great company. Tune in for “Stellar Sips” and “Cosmic Chugs” as we explore new flavors and share memorable stories along the way.
Whether you're a casual drinker or a cocktail connoisseur, sit back, relax, and let’s drink our way through the universe—where anything is possible! Cheers!
Matt and Friends Drink the Universe
16.5 Lights, Camera, Spirits Part 2 - "The Special" (NSFW)
Part 2 of our Halloween special (all puns intended)! Chris, Rob, and Siobhan join Matt in watching and reacting to Harrison Smith's movie, 'The Special'! We enjoy the "Special" cocktail we crafted for this occasion. We laugh, scream, gasp, and cry out in horror as we enjoy the horror story of Jerry who follows his friends bad advice down a dark path of addiction and death.
The Special IMDB
B. Harrison Smith IMDB
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10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. We have liftoff. Welcome to Matt and Friends. Drink the Universe. Welcome back everybody. This is going to be part 2 of our Halloween special Lights camera spirits. Alright and post interview with Harrison. As promised, we are going to watch and react to his movie.
Rob / Chris:The Special. That's right, and I'm still here. Guys, it's Rob. We've got two other friends joining us today.
Siobhan:Oh hey, it's Siobhan.
Rob / Chris:Oh, chris, I'm sorry I spoke over you. I'm in there, right away Alright we're coming here from the podcasting couch. Yep, and what did Harrison say?
Matt:You should watch this one with somebody you hate, wow.
Jerry (from the movie):What Didn't he say that? Thanks, chris.
Siobhan:And you asked us to be part of this.
Matt:thanks a lot, I did well, then he clarified like somebody you don't like from past relationship and I said, okay, okay still jeez. Also mentioned. You'll find yourself yelling at the screen. Don't stick your dick in the box. So.
Siobhan:Okay, just get ready, I'm going to say it.
Rob / Chris:Is that a weird Brad Pitt moment going to come up? Not in a home, oh no, oh, this is in a world, an association with everything's on fire presents I can't read, I don't know that you need to read yeah, a saw.
Siobhan:Stop.
Matt:What you don't like. That I mean no, Bert. Running director's commentary.
Rob / Chris:Would you please look when you reach for the candy Jesus, that's in my lap. Whoa.
Siobhan:I was just grabbing the fish. Just grabbing the fish, oh the fish Poor fish isn't even here Defend himself.
Mike (from the movie):Susan Moses I am. Paul Cutman.
Matt:Rob does some woodworking Works with the wood.
Siobhan:He does.
Matt:Yeah, you and your wife together, that's great Many wooden projects.
Rob / Chris:Very talented work in the wood, thank you.
Siobhan:I'm saying nothing.
Rob / Chris:Man, this guy can screw. Hey, hey, hey, thank you. Oh man, we should have time stamped this so people can like watch it along with us.
Siobhan:We might be able to.
Rob / Chris:They're, they're they're standing in the hole. They'll hear the dialogue and be able to mash that up. Yeah, oh, that's that is true. I didn't. I didn't realize that they could hear what we're hearing, which makes a lot of sense.
Siobhan:It's your first time.
Rob / Chris:Hey, glad I could have it with you guys. Oh, oh, and before everything happens, be Harrison Smith. There he is, yeah, directing. We are drinking the special cocktail. Yes, the perp, which is, of course, our grape jello, of course Infused with oh yes, well, we, we described it earlier, so grape jello, vanilla sipping vodka and Sprite A floating gelatinous blob. And now begins the special.
Mike (from the movie):Couldn't you have to Jerry? The best revenge is revenge. Hey, come on, she cheated on you first right.
Jerry (from the movie):So I have to cheat on her.
Mike (from the movie):You know what she's gonna give you, don't Mom, why she's gonna mistake. Kindness for weakness, all right, you'll be sending the wrong message. That's all right to fuck around without consequences. This will even the score. A healthy relationship is an equal relationship.
Siobhan:Yeah, this guy is a douche.
Mike (from the movie):Yeah.
Mike (from the movie):I don't know who am I gonna cheat with Mort? Don't look at me, guys, you're on the list.
Siobhan:But I'm Jerry.
Mike (from the movie):You're a good guy, mort, with the jokes, and you're a great husband. You think so, I know so.
Siobhan:Especially if you cheat on your wife.
Matt:This dude is the frat guy in the corner that gives you advice and everybody's like don't listen to that guy Right Now.
Mike (from the movie):See, this guy is the special my friend the special Take a sip every time they say it what?
Jerry (from the movie):For a $5 happy ending. I could be myself a free Gross please.
Mike (from the movie):Trust me, it is not what you think. Before we go, I'm gonna need you to put this bag on your head. Kidding me?
Jerry (from the movie):That seems safe. Don't look like I'm kidding.
Mike (from the movie):Put that on your head or you can forget it. Why? Because I know you well enough that, after you have what you're about to have, you're gonna go back there every single night until you're broke, and even that won't be enough. So consider this a preventative measure, really.
Matt:Really Put the bag on.
Mike (from the movie):Come on Okay.
Mike (from the movie):Okay, yeah, dick.
Jerry (from the movie):You're gonna love it man.
Matt:Okay.
Siobhan:Is this the end of the movie? He's dead now.
Mike (from the movie):He breathed in once and he's dead.
Siobhan:Yep, I don't know what he is.
Matt:I mean, at least he didn't tie it under the neck there.
Rob / Chris:I want this to be a Batman film.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, right, yeah right here I am.
Siobhan:United.
Mike (from the movie):All right, my friend, we have arrived.
Mike (from the movie):Can I take this off?
Mike (from the movie):Yeah, take it off.
Jerry (from the movie):Where.
Siobhan:Also, where do they live that? He goes there and then he's like well, I guess I'll never figure out where this is.
Mike (from the movie):I feel like there's places you could drive me around like within an hour or a few hours.
Matt:I have no idea where I am.
Mike (from the movie):I'm about to drop a pin.
Siobhan:Google Maps.
Jerry (from the movie):Ladies.
Rob / Chris:The only one who looks excited is douchey Will Wheaton.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, I'm definitely getting a little bit of a oh man.
Rob / Chris:He's like if Will Wheaton, and what's the guy that's his? He's like Picard's right hand.
Siobhan:Right here, yeah, like if Will Wheaton and.
Rob / Chris:Ryker were one person, that's that guy.
Matt:That's a lot of glitter.
Mike (from the movie):Like me.
Jerry (from the movie):I like you Jerry.
Siobhan:I don't believe her.
Rob / Chris:How does she know?
Mike (from the movie):his name is Jerry. You have it in your eyes. He will want the special. That's what you're for.
Jerry (from the movie):She's not the special Her no. Which one is it then? Oh, none of these. I mean, they all seem pretty damn special to me, man.
Jerry (from the movie):What do you want?
Mike (from the movie):Oh no, Madam Zora. Yeah, we're here for the special.
Matt:What of you?
Mike (from the movie):Oh, not just my buddy here.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):His eyes.
Jerry (from the movie):Hey, I'm Jerry, she's not deaf what?
Mike (from the movie):Dracula is a special.
Mike (from the movie):Oh hell, no, no.
Matt:You don't find me attractive.
Mike (from the movie):Or maybe you like sin or my other dolls better, Jerry, after five minutes you're going to be forgetting all about Lisa $60 now. Since. When.
Jerry (from the movie):Since the last time.
Matt:The inflation baby.
Rob / Chris:Look, this is the color of the drink. I know, yeah, there's nobody in here.
Siobhan:It's special.
Matt:Nailed it Boom oh.
Siobhan:What the fuck Strap in, jerry? Ooh, those curtains. These are special, all right well.
Matt:Anybody want to read the box out loud?
Siobhan:Stick it in here.
Matt:There we go. He seems confused about the instructions.
Siobhan:I'm like, sir. I mean fair enough, though if you were about to do that, you probably want to know what you're getting into. I like that. There's a bed in there.
Mike (from the movie):No, it's in, Mike. That's some kind of joke.
Siobhan:I like this noir music. We're in a detective.
Rob / Chris:I was just going to say that.
Siobhan:See, I saw her across the room. She said stick it in here.
Rob / Chris:She said put it in the box and I said ma'am, I'm not here for that. Me and my pencil mustache will take my business elsewhere.
Jerry (from the movie):You know what they say you went in Rome, right?
Mike (from the movie):All right, I like this room. I feel like he's going to die.
Siobhan:I hope so. Oh my God, I definitely am.
Matt:Shame you don't have it A little handsy. Oh, I got it.
Mike (from the movie):Believe me, I'm going to bring it A few times apparently.
Rob / Chris:Not ominous at all.
Siobhan:Right.
Rob / Chris:Nope, come on, we'll write it.
Jerry (from the movie):Hello, hello, wow of.
Rob / Chris:I mean, I'm not doing a box. Why do you need to adjust?
Siobhan:so intrigued.
Matt:It does seem like a lot of pelvic adjustment like that he's laughing now like it's like down and down and out.
Rob / Chris:Oh, oh, everybody take a slur. Sounds like our cocktail. Everybody's like the special tip.
Siobhan:Oh.
Jerry (from the movie):What.
Mike (from the movie):Oh.
Siobhan:Jerry has found the special. That was three and a half seconds. Well, no wonder there's a bed.
Rob / Chris:Got it Post special coma relaxation yeah.
Siobhan:I guess, my god, her programs. What do you think that she watches?
Rob / Chris:Generals of our lives right, there you go.
Siobhan:Soaps for sure. Is that time of night be great, as she wore watch telenovelas.
Rob / Chris:Oh telenova.
Siobhan:Are you oh?
Mike (from the movie):Mike, yeah, jerry, jerry Mike.
Mike (from the movie):Amen.
Matt:He needs to reevaluate his choice and friends, his friend.
Rob / Chris:Mike.
Siobhan:Mike Riker.
Mike (from the movie):Me see what you guys get paid for.
Rob / Chris:But oh, there's a, stick your tongue out.
Siobhan:DNA, oh no.
Jerry (from the movie):There you go.
Siobhan:I like that. He's grossed out and all he had to do was put his belt on.
Matt:Judging from the hand motions.
Siobhan:I think he was assisting on a return to sender situation. Yeah, you stuck it in gotta stick it back in.
Matt:He's out cold being hugged by a large Russian man.
Mike (from the movie):Don't bring this one back. Tell him to not return. He has won that once. Okay, what he just wanted that once she doesn't want another 60 dollars. Didn't I tell you hey, just be transparent. I didn't have to hold on to your penis while we lifted you in the car. I've had one of those like four hour Viagra boners.
Siobhan:I like that. He didn't know that, he didn't know how he was breathing, but he's like you got one of them four hour Viagra boners, like he's observant. Look at that.
Matt:Can't that happen post mortem I thought, that was a thing that can happen post mortem.
Siobhan:Like a rig of mortis rig of mortis situation.
Matt:Yeah, rig of moaner.
Siobhan:I mean I'd.
Rob / Chris:I'd Rigorrection. Rigorrection guys, I feel like we're missing really key elements of the plot here. That's sick. You fucking with a bar, oh my god hey you good boy on such a mistake Next time.
Mike (from the movie):All right, she's a great follower, I'm trust once a week.
Mike (from the movie):Fuck the bar.
Mike (from the movie):I need this man hey, hey, hey, hey, baby steps, baby steps, we'll see.
Siobhan:We're even and you must be. Lisa like Lisa.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Drinking with Mike again.
Mike (from the movie):How'd you find out about Anyway?
Mike (from the movie):you know, drunk friend, of a friend type of thing, you know there must be a pretty good customer, because then one day that old lady, she offered me the special. I did it once. Once is enough. Why is this? Some kind of rule or something? Talk to sin, she knows, once is enough. Thanks, man. That's what I do For the support.
Siobhan:He shoves, takes back in pants. We square.
Mike (from the movie):Yeah, but he does a good time with the france.
Matt:All I can hear is the song guy love from scrubs, mm-hmm.
Mike (from the movie):Hey, don't forget the Ryerson files.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, I'm cool, thanks I think I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Siobhan:I'm pregnant, jury oh what.
Rob / Chris:Plot twist Are you serious? You had me at hello. I thought I thought.
Mike (from the movie):Mike, you're swim or swim, tee hee.
Siobhan:Let's get Maury Povich in, you sure it's mine, oh. Damn Cold brother.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm not feeling really well and I'm too shocked. I mean, this is, this is big news.
Siobhan:Oh good, Are you going to hug her? That's going to be so awkward.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):He's right.
Matt:Awkward. He's already off the cliff, man.
Rob / Chris:You like that side boob?
Mike (from the movie):Oh.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Good morning, Jerry. You need to see these new pictures Bye Trudy.
Siobhan:No, what office is this?
Mike (from the movie):You didn't after you got home.
Rob / Chris:What is this white suit?
Siobhan:I know it's Miami Vice.
Jerry (from the movie):She told me she's pregnant, what? And she said I was having some kind of wet dream last night. Apparently I was saying some shit in my sleep. So she flat-out asked me this morning if I fucked someone else, fair enough. And then she told me that she bought me a snowblower for my birthday, and the guy that she's been going to see down to shopping center that it text is a goddamn fucking salesman, mike.
Mike (from the movie):And you're buying that, who takes?
Jerry (from the movie):a snowblower? No, mike, I mean, she's my wife and I trust her, and now I cheat on her because I listen to you.
Matt:That seems like it was a horrible idea.
Mike (from the movie):Don't blame me.
Jerry (from the movie):We knew what the fuck we were doing, jerry.
Mike (from the movie):I might give you a little piece of wisdom here. Okay, forget it, ever happened.
Jerry (from the movie):Hey, the whole thing was a wet dream. Yeah, I mean, it's not like it was real pussy.
Siobhan:It wasn't. It's in a box, dude. What did you think it was?
Jerry (from the movie):It was a flush slice, jacking off the corn.
Mike (from the movie):Is that cheating? That's a little above my pay grade, but just forget it ever happened.
Siobhan:What does this man? Do he's not a doctor.
Mike (from the movie):I think there are failures.
Siobhan:He's talking about screwing a box is above his pay grade.
Mike (from the movie):I said never happen. I said forget it, I'm going with salesman. Yeah but you did.
Rob / Chris:You've watched this. Do you know what they are? I have no idea.
Siobhan:Good, well, that's good.
Rob / Chris:He's Rachel's. He's wearing sunglasses at work. He's my sherry. Mystic wonder on that computer Her whore, everybody want candy. Good, thank you.
Jerry (from the movie):You have reached mystic wonder.
Siobhan:Girl. What isn't she a psychic? Is she allowed to have unforeseen circumstances? If she's a psychic, this is not her whole job. She's supposed to see all the circumstances.
Rob / Chris:Anybody catch that goat photo?
Siobhan:The client's called about tomorrow's meeting.
Mike (from the movie):Lunch.
Siobhan:It's a little early for lunch, isn't it? What do you want me to tell the clients? Tell them I'm going to lunch.
Mike (from the movie):Is Mike going with you?
Siobhan:You fucking see, mike.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, okay.
Siobhan:That's good. This guy's kind of a douche too.
Matt:Maybe it's not all on Mike 180.
Rob / Chris:Really yeah, that's a sick RBG poster Right next to a poster for the documentary of a man who climbed the Wall Free, solo Alex Honnold.
Siobhan:This man has the rage.
Jerry (from the movie):I'll be right with you. Yeah, I'm on my lunch break. I don't have a lot of time, Then please sit down. Can you just tell me where to find Madame Zora?
Mike (from the movie):I don't know who you're talking about.
Jerry (from the movie):You're a psychic and you can't find another psychic.
Siobhan:Don't think that's how that works.
Jerry (from the movie):Randy Bells Morticia.
Siobhan:Yeah, sounds like she really wants to help you when you insult her.
Matt:Right.
Siobhan:Also, do you think it's like Professor X, where he can see all the mutants in the world and he goes into that thing. Like do you think that's what psychics have, the like thing where they go inside? Yeah, that cocktail's a time.
Rob / Chris:I have it.
Siobhan:Did you just like throw your faces for her?
Rob / Chris:No, no, no. I was just laughing at the fact that you're bringing up Professor X and Suri Bro.
Siobhan:Yeah, well, that's it. Isn't that what it's like? He's like all right, you're a psycho, you don't know where other psychics are. No, no, no wait.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm here for the special Sin is not here. No, no sin.
Mike (from the movie):Uh, the special.
Jerry (from the movie):I seem to remember you, your eyes I don't, I don't.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):I love you. I was just waiting for that.
Siobhan:Yep, You're my best friend. I'm like waiting for him to do. He's like what if I stick my finger in it and my toe what I'm not so sure? I'd want to know at this point.
Matt:So sure I'd put my eye that close to the hole.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, right yeah.
Siobhan:Yeah X. Do we have guesses about what's in here? Oh, Do you have a guess, Chris?
Jerry (from the movie):I don't know Okay.
Matt:Some aggressive knockings.
Jerry (from the movie):No, no, no, no, no, no no.
Siobhan:I don't know what just happened. What?
Rob / Chris:The box hit.
Siobhan:Oh, no, girl oh.
Rob / Chris:Is this the slow death? Is she in the box. Now Something about her box.
Siobhan:I'm so, did he.
Matt:Angu Wachter was the box.
Siobhan:Don't help her, though it's cool.
Matt:Oh no, that's the opposite of helping.
Mike (from the movie):Whoa, you made me do this.
Rob / Chris:Just got real dark, real fast.
Siobhan:We about to American history access lady.
Rob / Chris:Oh.
Matt:Could? It was on the crunching sound there, Harrison.
Siobhan:Yeah, some Foley artistry. Love me for some fresh trachea sounds.
Rob / Chris:I did this for you box.
Siobhan:Cause you and me are buddies now.
Matt:Looking in the mirror questioning his recent choices. She's very dead.
Siobhan:Well, I bet that woman who's trying to find her through the psychic network is not going to be able to find her for sure now Beep beep, beep.
Rob / Chris:It's called a horribro hey.
Siobhan:There you go, took a bit, we got there.
Rob / Chris:Sometimes I just need to think.
Jerry (from the movie):Uh-oh.
Siobhan:That parking is only a dollar. That's amazing.
Rob / Chris:I don't know where they are Is that a chain mail sweater Looks like it. Oh my God, did he go to five guys. Is that a broken-out?
Matt:part.
Rob / Chris:Are they leaders? What a scarf, though.
Siobhan:I know he's very committed to it too. Oh my God, your hands are dirty again.
Jerry (from the movie):Hey.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Hey.
Jerry (from the movie):Just use my card.
Siobhan:He spent his last hundred and twenty on the special the place is real big on Miller Light All right.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Yeah, I'm going to go upstairs. Second door on the left. I got a couple simple rules up here.
Siobhan:Yeah, that's a good one.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Yeah, get in the toilet, clean up your mess on the bed or wherever you make it. Don't leave that shit for me. And when you return the key, you don't bring it down here, you bring it upstairs to me, got it? Yeah, hey.
Siobhan:Sounds lovely.
Motel Manager (from the movie):When you leave, take the body with you.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):What my?
Rob / Chris:favorite character so far.
Siobhan:Yeah, for sure.
Rob / Chris:Bartender Guy who accepts snuffs Box. It's our first home. We're home. What do you want?
Jerry (from the movie):to do.
Siobhan:Let me carry you over the threshold.
Jerry (from the movie):What should we get for?
Mike (from the movie):dinner box.
Siobhan:How are they going to watch that TV? That's fair.
Matt:Six feet near on top of us On the side of the bed.
Rob / Chris:Yeah, it's at the perfect angle if he just turns the box to the right, then he can just look up to his left while he's in the midst of boxing.
Mike (from the movie):He's just going to look at it.
Rob / Chris:Oh, that's a good one. He's just going to look at it. I killed for you Box. It's you and me forever.
Siobhan:Forever and ever, and at least six more nights.
Rob / Chris:He's going to cut a hole in the back of it too. Oh my God, Just to make it feel dirtier On the bed.
Siobhan:It's time, I swear to God, if we have to hear this noise again.
Mike (from the movie):Oh, prepare oh.
Siobhan:Yeah, it's longer than your lunch break, son.
Matt:He's been on lunch for like four and a half hours, oh.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, no what.
Siobhan:I like that.
Mike (from the movie):It matters that he can't just put it on.
Siobhan:Don't look anymore Box.
Rob / Chris:No one.
Siobhan:You hush up and I'll be back soon no one can have you, but me Box.
Rob / Chris:That's good, I like that we decided to use this voice.
Siobhan:Excuse me, sir, you're the new guest here.
Mike (from the movie):Yeah, I am. Why Do you want the room clean? No, I don't need anything. Don't worry about it. Don't change the tiles, Don't change the bed.
Jerry (from the movie):Just don't come in here for any reason. No, nothing, nada. Just stay out of the room, okay, Okay.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):I'll stay out while you're there.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, my God, you don't go in there for any reason. Not when I'm here, not when I'm not here. What the fuck is so hard about that?
Mike (from the movie):Okay, okay, I'll stay out that a girl.
Rob / Chris:He is off the wheels.
Siobhan:Dude, Come on in please. I'm surprised that guy hired a cleaner, though.
Mike (from the movie):He's okay.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):That is also shocking, we're your employees.
Mike (from the movie):It's just me, and.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):Madonna, and how long have you worked for her? I'm sorry, what's her real name again? Anya Grubinski. I have been with Madonna all these. I've been with her for a few years, security and maintenance. Really, it's enough riffraff and a fortune teller joint to have a guy like you as a bouncer. Okay, this place has a smell. You know when you were doing this for a while you can almost be blind and know where you are. Yeah, locker rooms have their own smell, bowling alleys, strip clubs why does he have all the pheromones, did you?
Mike (from the movie):know that. Tell me detective Rose dropping knowledge what?
Det. Barnes (from the movie):is it that you smell Tea, cigarettes Pussy?
Mike (from the movie):Oh shit.
Mike (from the movie):I tell you already. I go to the store and she knows Do not let anyone in until Yvonne returns.
Motel Manager (from the movie):But she does not listen, anything else I do not know.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):And you have no idea who could have done this.
Mike (from the movie):I am Nazi psychic.
Siobhan:Fair enough.
Mike (from the movie):Kimo Zabi. No, where were you?
Mike (from the movie):What do you mean?
Mike (from the movie):Lunch. I came by, you were already gone.
Mike (from the movie):I just felt like being alone, without all of mine. If you have not guessed, that is all. Yeah, mike, that is all.
Mike (from the movie):All right, you know no hard feelings.
Mike (from the movie):Nope, I have forgotten already.
Mike (from the movie):Really.
Mike (from the movie):Is that what you said I should do? Yeah, but I did not think you actually would. Yeah, well I am. I have to make things right with Lisa and hopefully in a week or two everything will be back to normal Good place to start.
Mike (from the movie):Do you want to hit Mort's after work tonight?
Mike (from the movie):No, I can't. I made reservations with Lisa at Chang's.
Jerry (from the movie):Have fun.
Mike (from the movie):So where is your drinking buddy tonight? Ah, with the wife, where you should be. Oh, when are you going to get married, man?
Jerry (from the movie):Oh.
Mike (from the movie):Come on, mort. You know I am not the married type. In fact, I don't even think humans are meant to be monogamous. You know, males are wired to spread their seed. Ah, he is that guy.
Siobhan:Yeah, I am not chick, she just gave him a look.
Mike (from the movie):Well, maybe I should have been a farmer. Huh yeah, Maybe you should have you okay with that. I need another.
Siobhan:I am fine, he is like an entire beer. You need another beer. Oh my God box.
Rob / Chris:We are having different experiences now.
Siobhan:Well, I mean, it would evolve.
Matt:You hope right, I am pretty sure the outcome is the same. He is going to go buy a little square wedding dress.
Siobhan:Yeah.
Matt:Oh.
Siobhan:That will bring you down real quick, huh I guess he can see the TV.
Rob / Chris:Foul play is suspected.
Siobhan:Reporting from downtown. You don't know where that is, but downtown.
Matt:Right near Madame Zoris.
Siobhan:Oh, oh, yeah, right, he knows he dropped the pin.
Matt:Some people just can't follow instructions. They need to know more.
Rob / Chris:Oh, oh, we are going in. Oh, we are three fingers at all at once. Why don't you start with one, work your way up to three?
Siobhan:That doesn't.
Rob / Chris:Oh oh no, there's noises.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh God.
Siobhan:No.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, oh.
Siobhan:I don't understand what he's. If you don't understand, I definitely don't understand.
Rob / Chris:He removed a bit of blob, is it?
Jerry (from the movie):burning.
Rob / Chris:The goo makes it feel good. Oh oh, it looked. It looked unpleasant.
Siobhan:Oh, oh, that is that I can't tell. I feel like that took like 10 seconds.
Rob / Chris:That's how good the box is.
Matt:I mean, I clearly feel like he clearly hasn't demonstrated a penchant for stamina up until this point in the movie there's a refractory period.
Siobhan:Friends, Look that up.
Rob / Chris:Must get more goo.
Matt:We'll put a link to that down below now.
Siobhan:The goo or Rob decided too much goo. For the record, he's having a moment.
Matt:Thank you for not launching that all over the living room.
Siobhan:That's a nice carpet. Oh, oh God.
Jerry (from the movie):Why is?
Matt:making it into go bottle.
Siobhan:Okay, I'm gonna lose it. What is that book? It's filled milk, it looks really uplifting, especially when she's pregnant.
Rob / Chris:It's about breastfeeding Upside down.
Jerry (from the movie):Hey, how'd it go.
Mike (from the movie):Had what go.
Motel Manager (from the movie):The reason you're late the meeting with Mr Ryerson. You called him up.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh yeah.
Mike (from the movie):I'm fine.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Is that really where you were?
Mike (from the movie):What do you mean?
Motel Manager (from the movie):You were now drinking with Mike or someone else.
Mike (from the movie):We talked about this, remember we're good.
Siobhan:Remember Are we cherry?
Matt:No, I'm at a box.
Mike (from the movie):I'm not feeling well.
Siobhan:She's got magic goo. I'm leaving you Bye.
Rob / Chris:I called her boxan, boxan.
Matt:Is that a filled with Satan silly buddy.
Siobhan:We had. After that scene, I'm trying to drink this drink and I cannot. It's gonna freak me out.
Jerry (from the movie):You're not doing well with the goo. Oh, there's more goo, damn it.
Siobhan:Did you just go in there room and do this Apparently? Oh God, what are you doing?
Jerry (from the movie):I thought you were watching a show. She watched General Hospital night too, I was just getting ready to come out and surprise you.
Siobhan:Surprise, surprise, surprise. Like what, like what? Why are?
Jerry (from the movie):you gooing.
Rob / Chris:They just wrestling. Is he gonna kill her now? I really, oh box, it's not the same.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm just gonna put a box on your head. Don't worry about it.
Rob / Chris:I justwhat Think square thoughts Fucking coffee oh my God, that's so gross.
Mike (from the movie):I'm gonna go in there room and do this. I'm gonna go in there room and do this. Square thoughts.
Siobhan:Fucking coffee, oh my God, that was so great. Fucking coffee. Look at that fish.
Rob / Chris:I thought it was a billy pass. You remember those? Oh yeah, Yep.
Siobhan:Take me to the river.
Rob / Chris:I got fucking coffee.
Jerry (from the movie):I'd rather cut in my mornings on the weekends, you know I'll talk to you later.
Siobhan:What is happening?
Rob / Chris:I'm so clever.
Siobhan:Nobody knows, at least Val Lisa. Look at him skipping.
Mike (from the movie):This is Mike.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Hi Mike, lisa, Sorry to bother you at work, but I was wondering if I could talk to you about Jerry.
Mike (from the movie):Okay, what about?
Motel Manager (from the movie):Does he seem like himself to you lately?
Mike (from the movie):Uh, how do you mean I?
Motel Manager (from the movie):don't know. It's just that he treated me like a one-night stand this morning.
Mike (from the movie):It's likehe couldn't get out of here quick enough.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Morning Mr.
Mike (from the movie):Hartford, no Frank.
Jerry (from the movie):It's a great fucking morning no.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Do you think he's cheating Mike?
Mike (from the movie):No, it's a gootastic morning you know, if he is, he hasn't told me about it.
Motel Manager (from the movie):You're late again, not anymore. I need to know if this is an affair.
Matt:If you see or hear anything suspicious will you let me know?
Motel Manager (from the movie):Yeah, of course.
Mike (from the movie):No, he's not.
Siobhan:No, he won't.
Matt:That's your best option for friend to call you in a problem.
Siobhan:Yeah, really Jeez, you're like shit.
Jerry (from the movie):That my least you're talking to.
Mike (from the movie):Actually it was, and you know why she called. She thinks you're having an affair, are you?
Mike (from the movie):Am.
Mike (from the movie):I what.
Jerry (from the movie):Just because you want to fuck my wife doesn't mean you can talk to her behind my back. Hey, she called me. Next time don't answer.
Siobhan:This is moving so normally for me. Like what oh?
Rob / Chris:Oh, no, oh.
Siobhan:Oh God, oh she about to have.
Mike (from the movie):Oh.
Siobhan:That's a nice manicure. Oh girl, we about to see blood, aren't we? I'm gonna be sad.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh.
Motel Manager (from the movie):So you've come to tell me that you found. What did this?
Matt:That's traumatizing.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):That was a word park. This time I know what I heard. You've been doing in search of your own.
Mike (from the movie):But you found something.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):What we found is a lot of things that can't be traced back to anyone with a record. I'm actually here because I'm wondering if whoever did this took more than your boss, my boss, madam.
Mike (from the movie):Nothing was taken but Madame's life.
Siobhan:You trying to protect the box.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):You have something stuck in your tooth, like if it's a popcorn, maybe stuck in your teeth way back here, no matter how much you pick at it and won't come out. You ever had that happen, I floss.
Jerry (from the movie):In Mother.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):Russia.
Rob / Chris:Perfect.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):Teeth floss you. You don't seem very concerned with whether or not we find whoever did this to Miss Kravinsky. In fact, it's almost as if you don't want us to catch this person.
Siobhan:I feel like that's not what's happening at all.
Mike (from the movie):I am said something that's stuck in your tooth.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):Exactly, exactly.
Mike (from the movie):Americans have a saying what goes around comes around.
Motel Manager (from the movie):I think whoever did this will get what they deserve.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):What's of a cult book, Sierra Yvonne.
Mike (from the movie):Is that?
Matt:a book literally called Korea Cult I sure is he made a quite good assumption.
Jerry (from the movie):I must have heard of a curse on someone.
Mike (from the movie):Madame did that for free. I wish I had her powers. What curse in Madame did this. So it was a man.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):I assume so yes, well, yvonne, why would a man frequent a fortune tell her, let alone kill one?
Motel Manager (from the movie):Men want to know things too.
Mike (from the movie):Some things are wrong.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):Yeah, you know I find a lot wrong actually what was on his table again.
Siobhan:He was looking at the man in the mirror.
Jerry (from the movie):A box, a life working with a woman. Box for what?
Det. Barnes (from the movie):For putting things in. And where is this box Penises, these missings?
Rob / Chris:He said nobody took anything else?
Siobhan:Oh, there it is, there's the box.
Rob / Chris:Has he got it under?
Siobhan:the covers now? I don't think so.
Rob / Chris:Oh, no, okay, I don't know why there are covers.
Siobhan:How are the covers in between what it's? Because we're not watching a porn. That's why, so we don't get a glimpse.
Jerry (from the movie):What eat?
Rob / Chris:It's not the same.
Siobhan:It's not the same, no, the same. No. Box is mad at him. Oh, no, Doctor there seems to be a burning sensation. Oh yeah, bummer, and I don't feel bad for you, oh God.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, trudy, this is Jerry. Can you tell him? Sir Roth, I'm not going to make back in today. I'm really sick.
Siobhan:Brian, the doctor will see you now Shit.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, sorry, they're calling me in Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Matt:Yeah, God.
Siobhan:Oh.
Matt:So you're married.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Yes.
Matt:You and your wife having more sex than usual.
Jerry (from the movie):No less than usual, actually. Ow, sorry, he's got boxburn. You having sex with anyone other than your wife. No, you sure, unless I'm sleep fucking no oh the hell are all these splinters Doc?
Matt:I can't help if you're not alone you having sex with anyone else no.
Jerry (from the movie):So you're masturbating more than usual, unless I'm using a cheese grater. I mean, look at this, it's spreading. I mean it comes and goes, it's all in my fucking dick, man. I mean, what is this?
Matt:I don't know what. I'll tell you what, Mr Smith. This guy's good. Whatever it is that your penis and you are doing, just do it less often. Okay, I'm going to write you a prescription for some LNX ointment. Go ahead and put that on a couple times a day, see if that works.
Siobhan:I like his little. Hmm, Remember the ointment. What a good doctor.
Rob / Chris:Jesus, my penis burns I want the large tube.
Matt:Just a minute.
Rob / Chris:I wish that there was like narration during some parts of this, you got a message from here, from like someone with a very specific type of voice, morgan. Freeman Hmm, what was that day? He really?
Jerry (from the movie):loved that box.
Mike (from the movie):His penis has fallen off. Yeah, just rubbing on my dick right, oh Fuck. Oh, does it hurt that bad?
Siobhan:This guy seems like a good guy, I'm going to go get him. Does it hurt that bad this guy seems?
Rob / Chris:like a fucking wuss. It looks like he has splinters.
Siobhan:Is it? It looks like hair. It's not been kind. Yeah, well, that's what.
Rob / Chris:It looks like he's getting stone skin from Game of Thrones oh.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah.
Rob / Chris:I like that. You had to like look beneath the microphones.
Siobhan:Got the scale, the gray scale.
Rob / Chris:Gray scale. I got you.
Siobhan:I'm scared, jerry. Here we go, oh please. I made bad decisions. I made bad decisions.
Matt:I made bad decisions, I made bad decisions, I made bad decisions and I think it's going to fall off.
Siobhan:Jerry, no one feels bad. What are you doing?
Jerry (from the movie):No, I'm sick.
Siobhan:It's like, oh God, you're going to be a nightmare.
Jerry (from the movie):You don't feel hot?
Mike (from the movie):I'm going to say that again.
Siobhan:Is there anything I can do to help?
Mike (from the movie):No, I think I'm just going to try to sleep it off. I got to get to work tomorrow.
Siobhan:You get rid of a rash right. You sleep it off.
Motel Manager (from the movie):What kind of sick are you?
Mike (from the movie):Oh no, blue sick, gold sick why?
Rob / Chris:Dick rot sick.
Siobhan:Gray scale.
Motel Manager (from the movie):I think I'm miscarried.
Siobhan:Me and Shireen.
Mike (from the movie):Did you hear me? I heard you.
Matt:One redeeming chance to say something heartfelt.
Mike (from the movie):Sorry.
Motel Manager (from the movie):You're sorry, that's it what is this going?
Rob / Chris:I hate this man yeah.
Jerry (from the movie):I know right.
Rob / Chris:Yep.
Siobhan:If he could just get gray scale on his whole body and suffocate, that'd be cool.
Jerry (from the movie):I don't want a VD, if that's your asking, because, again, I am not cheating on you.
Rob / Chris:Please, please, we could try again.
Mike (from the movie):We will, we will.
Jerry (from the movie):Please, can I just get some sleep please?
Rob / Chris:Thanks, jerry, just wants some sleep. Oh my God, his eyes.
Matt:He know he's not feeling well, he looks rough. He's left the box alone.
Siobhan:Yeah, really. Well, he has to.
Matt:Do you look green? Or is it just me? Yeah, okay, hey, I saw green, the color of the blind guy saw green.
Siobhan:Oh good job. Oh my, oh Lanta.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, he definitely has the gray scale.
Siobhan:That's oh yeah, aired out. She's about to be like you don't have an STI.
Matt:Samuel Tarly. What Paging Samuel Tarly?
Siobhan:Did you ride on asphalt with your stomach?
Rob / Chris:Has it not been more than?
Siobhan:six days? Oh, I don't think so. Has it only been like?
Matt:two or three or four, yeah, at the most.
Siobhan:Oh, he covered it again. I feel like that was I still hear box.
Rob / Chris:I missed you.
Siobhan:That woman's going to come in and be like. I dusted it for you, sir we still haven't learned Right.
Jerry (from the movie):Right.
Siobhan:He pulls out a sign it's like be back soon.
Mike (from the movie):It's empty. We'll return at 12. No, no, no, no oh shit.
Matt:Unplug it and plug it back in again.
Siobhan:Maybe it's that time of the month, so what's hiding?
Rob / Chris:How in the world has he not thought to cut this lock off yet?
Siobhan:Honestly, this, that is blowing my mind.
Rob / Chris:Sir, you can get bolt cutters yeah foreshadowing the plumbing and heating supplies stores closed. Please break it.
Siobhan:So where are they? That there's like this type of store? Does he not know how to use a?
Matt:door. He's now uptown.
Rob / Chris:Oh fancy Uptown Jerry Looking for a set of wire cutters, bolt cutters. Yeah, do you have a settling torch, sir?
Matt:I mean, there's a couple ways you can attack this problem.
Siobhan:Yeah, he's going to walk in and punch someone in the head.
Matt:Plumbing supply hoses are not one of those ways. Yeah, yeah.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm looking for a I don't know what to call it. Yeah, I need to cut a lock.
Rob / Chris:Like bolt cutters.
Siobhan:We've been saying it this whole time, Jerry.
Rob / Chris:All of the subtext of the clerk. Clerk, you fucking idiot. You know, I'm looking for a thing that cuts a bolt. Oh, like a bolt cutter.
Jerry (from the movie):Sir.
Matt:The clerk's like we got another one. He's going to be on the news tomorrow.
Rob / Chris:Comes back with a police officer.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, how big is the lock? These should work fine.
Rob / Chris:Yeah, they're used, is that okay? Yeah, that's fine, that'll work.
Siobhan:I've definitely been using a used thing this whole time, in fact.
Rob / Chris:And empty.
Siobhan:Yeah, I mean, you just established that.
Rob / Chris:It's an empty box. What could it be? A box full of nothing for you and me.
Siobhan:Oh God, it's a bunch of jizz.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah, trudy, it's Jerry. Thanks, yeah, but I'm afraid I'm still not feeling so well. So, yeah, okay, trudy, okay Trudy, yeah, I will, all right, okay.
Siobhan:Did it die? Is it a gnome? Why is he saying shh no, is it a baby Ew?
Jerry (from the movie):What.
Siobhan:Oh, you got the dead. Thing.
Matt:It's the squishing sounds that are by Frith and Wurst.
Siobhan:So it shriveled to the back of the box Is that what we think? And he opened it up, and now he grabbed it out.
Rob / Chris:And he's not working with enough to get to the back of the box apparently.
Siobhan:No, he does have the scale. Oh, thank God, I'm so scared I don't even know.
Rob / Chris:Oh God, when do we see it?
Siobhan:So it's like a floating vagina.
Rob / Chris:Can we see it? It's.
Siobhan:Okay, he has the burning the cigarette burns.
Matt:What I do believe. He does indeed have the plague.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah.
Matt:Or Ebola, one of the two.
Siobhan:The goop? Oh, that's shit. It looks like it's doing real good work for you, sir.
Matt:It might require a steroidal cream.
Siobhan:I mean it is a prescription, right. I don't think I was knowing this was going to be such an allegory, this movie On addiction it really is.
Matt:That is one of the stated themes.
Rob / Chris:Here's our credit card statement. Oh, god oh my God, I'm genius, nailed it. Also. Why are we talking about climate change? What you said, something about Al Gore.
Siobhan:No, I said allegory.
Rob / Chris:Okay.
Siobhan:That's the inconvenient truth right there, and I said allegory.
Motel Manager (from the movie):What do you mean?
Rob / Chris:He's not at work, he called in sick, I'm going to hang up on this. Oh my girl.
Siobhan:Small town Whoville.
Rob / Chris:One thing is in focus.
Siobhan:He went to Whoville.
Matt:Went to Whoville.
Siobhan:Yeah, that one of those things that said Whoville US I don't know where that is. That was very ominous for her just getting into her car to leave. It's all the roundups, fault Monsanto, blame them.
Matt:Talk about climate change, I mean whatever this guy does for a living, I'm still stuck on that Like he's got to be doing. Well, she's driving, alexis.
Rob / Chris:So really nice house. Yeah, do they. Did you see that kitchen earlier? I would cook there.
Siobhan:They're clearly not impoverished. Well, it must be cheap to live in Whoville. As long as you don't encounter the Grinch, I feel like you're all set.
Matt:You're horton here as a whore, Rob. If we were smart, we would have asked Harrison where this was filmed.
Siobhan:I think it was filmed in Lancaster. Yeah, yeah, I think I read somewhere it has a Pennsylvania vibe for sure, I think it's like central PA-ish.
Matt:Actually that bar with the yingling tap handle right in the middle.
Siobhan:All these homes make me think of Amish Country.
Jerry (from the movie):It could also be Ohio. I feel so bad for her, true.
Matt:I just functionally feel awful for her. Oh God, this woman's seen so much shit.
Siobhan:Oh my God, there's a lady in the room.
Matt:There's a lady in the room. We got another one.
Siobhan:That seemed useful. I told you not to clean it. Oh, look at her, I like her.
Matt:And why not, what A lot of people have been missing the session.
Siobhan:Yeah, Jerry Lisa.
Jerry (from the movie):Lisa Lisa.
Mike (from the movie):Lisa.
Jerry (from the movie):What do you think?
Matt:Open the door.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Wait a minute Now, Jerry.
Matt:My box isn't decent. Hold on, I didn't want you to find out this way. Put her lid on.
Rob / Chris:This is boxing.
Siobhan:Yep, she's squishy but I love her.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Jesus Christ, it stinks in here. It's an old room.
Mike (from the movie):Bogdan has a very potent perfume.
Siobhan:Smells like Is it her? Oh, oh.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Is the girl you're cheating on me with? I hope it's the girl.
Jerry (from the movie):She's she's pansexual.
Motel Manager (from the movie):You're gonna deny it, even though I caught you, you're pathetic.
Jerry (from the movie):Where is she?
Rob / Chris:I've been fucking my cherry back up.
Siobhan:I'm trying to figure out what they're saying in the background.
Rob / Chris:He's watching a show about addiction, oh.
Siobhan:I wonder why.
Mike (from the movie):How could you Jerry?
Siobhan:How could you? God, it's not killer, oh my god, he might no.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Get off me oh.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, hell yeah, Right in the dick rod.
Siobhan:Right in the scaly dick.
Rob / Chris:There's no girl, there's just oh oh okay, Wait it ble-, it breathed.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh.
Siobhan:Jesus, oh no, does he have a knife?
Rob / Chris:Or is he just strangling her? Okay, yeah, right in the dick rod. Yeah girl, get in the dick again. Woo, get that girl.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm healing you in the dick.
Siobhan:Oh my god, you're gonna kill your wife. Jesus, this man, boxzan, is a hell of a drug. She's dead. Sir, you don't have to be in the box tonight. He will sell it's like an alien thing. That was weird looking.
Matt:I don't know why it's moving. A goo ball. We did good, though the cocktail looks pretty spot on.
Siobhan:I'm glad I finished it cause-.
Rob / Chris:I made it based upon what it looked like on the poster.
Siobhan:Yeah.
Rob / Chris:I love you Lisa.
Siobhan:Good night, Lisa.
Rob / Chris:Lisa, I'm going to combine you with Boxzan.
Siobhan:You will be in Lisa's box.
Matt:Lisa.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, I did this for you.
Siobhan:Oh.
Jerry (from the movie):What the fuck is he?
Siobhan:doing. Look at his face my precious. I did this for you.
Jerry (from the movie):What.
Mike (from the movie):You're not allowed to look, Lisa.
Siobhan:He's too beautiful. Oh, so you're psychotic now.
Rob / Chris:Oh no.
Siobhan:I'm horrified, oh no. This is the worst part this is the scariest part of this movie right here, oh no.
Rob / Chris:Oh, not what I thought he was going for. It's not over yet. Watch me do it.
Siobhan:Lisa.
Rob / Chris:Hold my hand. Oh my god, hell yeah.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh no.
Siobhan:I did not see it no, no oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh oh, Interesting choice. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. What are you washing off? Oh, oh.
Rob / Chris:It's the rag he's been cleaning with. I thought it was her hair.
Siobhan:I thought it was her shirt.
Matt:He was told to take the body with him.
Jerry (from the movie):He was indeed. I just oh no.
Matt:You have made choices.
Rob / Chris:Jerry is seeing himself for the first time.
Jerry (from the movie):Look at me eyes Scary, scary.
Mike (from the movie):Oh nice.
Siobhan:Talk about rig a mortis.
Rob / Chris:I'm going to wipe around her lips. Thank you, Hannibal Lecter.
Siobhan:Remember the lips Clarice? We thought reading the people's names was bad.
Jerry (from the movie):It doesn't seem like they're having that, bro, just oh my open gash.
Siobhan:Oh my Lord, Her brain was falling out.
Rob / Chris:I think that he was a painter in real life.
Siobhan:Oh, this is good, not even the trunk, the back seat. She liked the back seat, we put her in it.
Rob / Chris:She likes the fresh air. It is his lexis Is he going to go in a garage Boxing. Just got an upgrade. She can come home with me now.
Matt:See, my functional brain is just thinking how's he going to get his car home?
Mike (from the movie):Oh well.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh there's a snowblower.
Rob / Chris:Hey delivery for Jerry oh Jesus.
Siobhan:Been talking to Lyssa, old cutter Jerry.
Mike (from the movie):You're the guy Excuse me.
Motel Manager (from the movie):You're the guy, I'm the guy.
Siobhan:Oh God, that's poor man Is your wife on her way here.
Jerry (from the movie):No, she's not on her way here. She asked me to meet you, so oh, right, yeah, hey, why don't I? Give you a once-over on this, Dick. I can read a manual and figure it out myself. It's a snowblower. It's not blowing me, is it? Oh, oh.
Rob / Chris:Look out.
Jerry (from the movie):We're involved in stupid things, so you could drop the whole bullshit salesman act.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Okay, yeah right, jerry, no problem, if you can just give me your initials here that man has such a nice coat For a snowblower delivery dude.
Siobhan:It's a deluxe snowblower.
Matt:What is that? I know he's got that on lock.
Siobhan:Oh my God, what's?
Rob / Chris:happening now.
Siobhan:Look at that nice polka dot blanket. It's so nice. Is that Boxan? Does he have?
Rob / Chris:Boxan, you live in the tub now.
Siobhan:Does he have a fuck-goo starter and he's going to just sourdough it up for everybody in the neighborhood and start selling fuck-goo to everyone. Oh, fuck-goo starter.
Rob / Chris:Now he's a dealer.
Siobhan:Instead of just a user.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh, Ooh, ooh.
Rob / Chris:Maybe Boxan is thirsty.
Matt:We can re-higrate it.
Rob / Chris:Yeah, hungry. Oh my God, why does it move? Is it a lot? It's breathing.
Siobhan:And now I am confused. Okay, well, that's good, because I'm confused too, so at least we're all on that same page. I'm just going to put Lisa out here.
Matt:Yeah, she won't smell at all.
Siobhan:It'll be fine.
Rob / Chris:Lisa, you can live in the garage. What is this? The crawl space.
Siobhan:Oh my God, she's so heavy, it's supposed to be very difficult with Dick Rod. Yeah, well.
Matt:He's like, hey, there's that Christmas present I couldn't find.
Siobhan:Merry Christmas, Lisa. What I get it? I'll make her into a Christmas tree.
Rob / Chris:No one will know. Oh my God, she's in the box what I think she's in the box. Did he chop her up? That's what I'm assuming. With what the bolt cutter One knuckle at a time. He's making some kind of an apparatus. How does this man? It sticks to her.
Siobhan:I'm like.
Rob / Chris:Boxster what he doesn't want people to be able to see inside.
Matt:I'm just going to say if I started doing that to my windows my neighbors would know in half a second. Yeah, like you don't have curtains.
Siobhan:Yeah, I'm going to talk to her through the lights.
Rob / Chris:Okay, this is not at all what I thought he was doing. I'm very confused.
Siobhan:Oh my God Dear, it blit Nope.
Rob / Chris:Why does it move so much? It looks like an alien tadpole I. Oh my God, oh God, it looks like a scrotum, looks like a giant, like the scrotum of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Oh my God, I hate it what scrotum looks like that.
Siobhan:Nobody's scrotum looks like that. It looks like an egg.
Matt:A lizard scrotum, if yours looks like that please dial 1-800.
Siobhan:Please call a doctor, not Mike and maybe not that dude's doctor.
Rob / Chris:He sucks, mike and Mort.
Siobhan:His hair is very perfect.
Jerry (from the movie):Look at his hair it's feathered and he's oh With more information on this story. I have Ivan Marovitch, caretaker, and Madame Zoras, whoever did this. I hope you are watching now.
Mike (from the movie):I know what is happening to you and I am the only one who can help you.
Jerry (from the movie):So when you are ready to accept my help.
Rob / Chris:I will be here waiting for you.
Siobhan:Well, it's got to go everybody.
Jerry (from the movie):This is not a suspicious exit at all.
Jerry (from the movie):Clean up, it's clean enough.
Mike (from the movie):Well scoop.
Motel Manager (from the movie):You know you really don't look like the usual type of person I get coming through this place.
Jerry (from the movie):It's a pretty high class place you got here.
Motel Manager (from the movie):That's real funny. No, I just mean like you don't look like a meth head or some sloshed up drunk.
Siobhan:Damn, what a compliment.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Did you kill someone? Hey look, don't get me wrong. I don't give a fuck one way or the other, but they come up in here to get you.
Siobhan:I'm just going to say I didn't know anything. How well does that work for you?
Motel Manager (from the movie):Take them.
Matt:Seems like a polished strategy the way he's delivering it so.
Motel Manager (from the movie):What for comrags? Okay, all right.
Siobhan:Get out and by.
Matt:Spectacular, he might be my favorite character.
Siobhan:Yeah, he really is.
Mike (from the movie):Anybody home? Hello Lisa.
Matt:Oh God, mike, she's in the crawl space.
Siobhan:Are you home?
Rob / Chris:I smell you Boxan the special two, the downfall of my conch Lisa.
Siobhan:Oh god, oh, he's about to find the boom, boom room, lisa.
Mike (from the movie):Are you in there?
Rob / Chris:He's gonna recognize it.
Siobhan:You think he knows?
Rob / Chris:Well, he's gonna know the glow. He knows the glow, he's been in the glow. What?
Siobhan:the fuck. Yeah, that's what we're saying, mike.
Rob / Chris:I'm gonna say I've enjoyed every minute of this, by the way. Oh is the rod up around his neck now. Oh yeah, oh my god it's all consuming.
Motel Manager (from the movie):I'm a big deal.
Rob / Chris:Fucking coffee.
Siobhan:You gotta keep that gate close to you.
Rob / Chris:Keep gate close.
Jerry (from the movie):Yep.
Mike (from the movie):Oh god, lisa, are you in here?
Siobhan:Oh, is it the goo.
Mike (from the movie):Oh, you can hear it.
Siobhan:Oh.
Rob / Chris:Why does it move?
Siobhan:Because it's a little crusty. You guys remember, gack. What the fuck did you do? Goo, he does know.
Matt:I do remember Gack yes. Yeah, it's giving me Gack vibes.
Siobhan:Yeah, I have slime at my house. I don't think that though.
Matt:Did you allow your Gack to lay out in the woods for like eight?
Jerry (from the movie):years and become moldy.
Matt:No, I didn't whack the Gack.
Siobhan:Get out of here, Mike.
Matt:Oh, Mike run, she bought him that nice slobber, or?
Siobhan:just left it outside. I know Mike.
Mike (from the movie):Oh god, mike, what's up man? Hey, jeez, what are you doing here? You got shit.
Jerry (from the movie):What this? Yeah, it's just a rash. Doc gave me some kind of ointment.
Rob / Chris:It is on his neck now. It's a signal.
Mike (from the movie):It's pretty gross, right, is that?
Mike (from the movie):from that thing.
Siobhan:It's a signal. The thing in the tub, it's the Al Gore of it all.
Mike (from the movie):That's what that guy was talking about. What? Who was talking about that guy, the big guy from Madame Zora's? He was on the TV. She's dead, you know. And he said whoever did it? Oh, he knows he's got something I can fix.
Jerry (from the movie):It Is that you Come on, Mike, you believe that shit. He's just trying to trick me to come to him so he can turn me into the police.
Mike (from the movie):Okay, let's get you to the hospital.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm gonna stay here, Jerry. Look how did you get in here.
Mike (from the movie):The garage door was open. It's always open.
Matt:He really didn't flinch at his friend committing murder.
Siobhan:Right, I'm like, didn't he just admit that? He's like what?
Mike (from the movie):I'm just here to help you, man Help.
Jerry (from the movie):I mean it's a little late for that.
Mike (from the movie):Listen, isn't?
Mike (from the movie):it.
Mike (from the movie):Listen, jerry. If you had anything to do with Madame Zora's death, I won't worry about it.
Siobhan:We'll cover it up, like he just sort of admitted he did.
Mike (from the movie):Trust me, I'm your buddy. I'm your buddy. What about Lisa? You gonna help me cover that up.
Rob / Chris:She got in the way. She got in the way. Brazen Love Jerry.
Jerry (from the movie):Hey, did you forget that? You know this is all your fault, bible Tellin' me to cheat on my wife.
Mike (from the movie):Is that you? I need help. I said one time, one and done don't go back, I'm gonna call a sponsor.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh no, what goes around?
Siobhan:comes around. Oh no, Don't breathe in. Oh, my sweet Jesus.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh no.
Siobhan:No, Bummer dude. Oh, this is the third. Got the rage. You're squeezing his neck. It's a little bit of a pain.
Matt:You're suffocating in a bag. I know I'm like I don't.
Siobhan:This is really like Real yeah, pretty visceral, if you will. I think I've ever seen this in real life, but I would assume that's what it looks like no degree.
Rob / Chris:No, no, no, no, no, no hey, shhh, box hand, it's okay hey.
Jerry (from the movie):Ew.
Siobhan:Come here, she's so like Come here beautiful. Where does it go in? It looks amorphous.
Jerry (from the movie):I.
Siobhan:I mean I just, oh, god oh. God, y'all don't want to screw that thing. No, what? Okay, I mean, it's his bias, friend Always wearing his flannel pajamas. Yep, yep, oh, it's so cozy with you. Box Hand.
Matt:You and me, and me and you.
Siobhan:I like the reference too. You know how sometimes you can get nose blind to stuff.
Rob / Chris:Oh no, oh, oh, it's getting pussy.
Siobhan:He done. He got the boils, got the boxy bowl.
Matt:He's got the box-bowl.
Siobhan:Oh so.
Mike (from the movie):Oh God, I ain't gonna cover that up.
Siobhan:Hmm, that doesn't look good at all, god damn.
Jerry (from the movie):Oh are your teeth falling out.
Siobhan:Are you a leper now Looking good, jerry, what Still?
Rob / Chris:got it yeah, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no.
Siobhan:This man is so committed.
Matt:Oh, oh, the stringy goo. Oh, oh God, oh God, no, no, no.
Rob / Chris:I'm afraid of the fire. I'm afraid of the fire. I'm afraid of the fire.
Siobhan:I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of the fire.
Jerry (from the movie):I'm afraid of the fire.
Rob / Chris:Oh God, oh God.
Siobhan:Oh Yo, I thought that was the real door.
Motel Manager (from the movie):What are you doing here? It's your birthday.
Mike (from the movie):Are you okay, Jerry Is?
Rob / Chris:that a rash? Oh, that guy's super off-trend. Is that a rash, poor?
Siobhan:baby. But you can't be that sick because your wife didn't call us and cancel. She's sick too. Can we see her?
Jerry (from the movie):Oh damn, these people. We both were Thanks for coming. I'm sorry we didn't call you guys, but the parties canceled. You can just go now, thanks.
Rob / Chris:You can just go now.
Jerry (from the movie):Could you just get off my property? I thought your wife was sleeping. Okay, george, fuck off. Okay, both of you, all of you, let's get out of here, get off my property.
Siobhan:I'm sick. Oh no, that man literally.
Rob / Chris:First of all those people were not in the rest of the movie.
Siobhan:Who are they?
Rob / Chris:Neighbors.
Matt:Are they?
Siobhan:Oh God, I think she died.
Rob / Chris:She went from a C cup to a nothing cup.
Siobhan:If this was a musical, I would watch it. Oh my God.
Rob / Chris:You think Bea Harrison would be interested in directing a musical, making less into a musical.
Siobhan:You have this, a jukebox musical. What can we do?
Matt:I will ask him on X and see what he says Boxing in.
Siobhan:Oh God, boxing in. You don't have to turn into black goose, it's just a jellyfish. Now I will eat you and we will be one, those fucking neighbors. It's your birthday.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):Why are you here?
Mike (from the movie):It's your birthday.
Siobhan:Oh no, Can't survive without the box. What do you think it was going to do?
Rob / Chris:It's still like it sounds like pop rocks.
Motel Manager (from the movie):It sounds like pop rocks.
Rob / Chris:It's like it's actively making a noise.
Siobhan:I'm just like, is this rock bottom? That's what we think.
Jerry (from the movie):You were so young Boxing.
Siobhan:I feel like those people were like trying to be an intervention.
Matt:You must fix her.
Jerry (from the movie):I see, you got my message.
Jerry (from the movie):Tell me.
Mike (from the movie):Of course, Is this what you talk from us it is dead no.
Jerry (from the movie):No, rooney. Yeah, I don't know. I think it is. Can you fix it?
Motel Manager (from the movie):The hell's that Come with me. What are we doing?
Jerry (from the movie):in here. What's it done? Try to relax while I see what I can do about my friend Friend. Wait For what it's worth. I'm really sorry. That's good. Listen to make up for it. You know the business that you lost.
Siobhan:I used part of it on me with my wife.
Jerry (from the movie):I mean it like it, like rocked the world. Man, it works inside the woman. I tried the woman. I tried the woman. I tried a little bit, but it does nothing for the girl. I've put it on me first and it all happened inside of her. Who cares about what it does for the girls? I mean, it's all about the guys, right? I mean they're your customers. As long as it satisfies him, Can you throw him in the street and hit him with a car, please. I want to know what's special with my girls.
Siobhan:Some things to think about.
Jerry (from the movie):Yes, I mean, maybe we could work together I mean I can help Partners or something and I could be with it again. I mean I can help, I can be with it again.
Mike (from the movie):Do not worry, we will be with it again.
Jerry (from the movie):So you'll be able to help me. Of course, I will get started Better if you relax now.
Siobhan:Thank you. Is the goo, the like remnants of dudes, who this has happened to? And he's just been fucking like goo remnants of the people before him. Did I guess it Sourdough, starter as I'm saying Goo, remnants is the guess.
Rob / Chris:Oh yeah, I mean I'd be okay with that, Just saying oh yeah.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):I got to make a new box, so this is going to be reboxa.
Siobhan:You got to do better than reboxa. No, I got to do better.
Rob / Chris:I got to do better than reboxa.
Matt:I got to do better than reboxa. I got to do better than reboxa.
Rob / Chris:I got to do better than reboxa Box into Select.
Siobhan:Box alu.
Rob / Chris:Box alu, that's electric box. There, you go electric goop there you go, Dude.
Siobhan:the shit on your face is not. It's like the least of your worries. You got some mental illness. Oh no, not the hair, my beautiful locks. Okay, so I'm here for this ending, if I was right.
Rob / Chris:It's a fresh box.
Mike (from the movie):Oh god.
Rob / Chris:Now the teeth are gonna come out All at once or just one, nope.
Siobhan:And I'm not. Oh, you're like your whole jaw. What are we doing? I don't know. If you didn't yank it out of your face, it probably would have stayed there.
Rob / Chris:If Varan is making.
Siobhan:You should like whip up a quick box. Yeah, oh, no oh.
Rob / Chris:Oh my.
Siobhan:Mm-hmm, he went it up he is not well.
Rob / Chris:This is escalated quickly.
Siobhan:Oh, he's got that allergy. Oh Please, varan, help me.
Mike (from the movie):Boxing.
Mike (from the movie):Oh my god.
Siobhan:Oh, all right, he's like. I knew I shouldn't have had peanuts. Where's my EpiPen?
Mike (from the movie):Oh my god.
Siobhan:It is time.
Rob / Chris:You know what's horrifying though this the way he is decomposing is very reminiscent about what happens if you actually get Ebola.
Siobhan:Oh yeah, we're with you, like like pre-been melty flesh.
Rob / Chris:You become liquid.
Siobhan:Yeah, it's crazy From the inside out. How scary is that?
Mike (from the movie):Oh, my god everybody 99 bananas Mm.
Jerry (from the movie):Dude A plus to this special effects.
Siobhan:I know I feel like they have.
Rob / Chris:Special effects are outstanding.
Siobhan:He looking like Palpatine there. Yeah, he kind of does. Oh my lord.
Matt:I second that, Chris. Oh no, you got to touch them.
Siobhan:Why would you not use gloves or something? I mean, I guess he doesn't really care. Huh, oh yeah right, is it? Just the head, Guys. The leg Is it just the head? It's a second head.
Rob / Chris:Why not use the cleaver? Use the oh.
Siobhan:I mean, it's not really made of anything. Oh.
Mike (from the movie):Oh my god.
Rob / Chris:Oh Well, we're closing the investigation because we have no leads.
Siobhan:Okay.
Det. Barnes (from the movie):I smell pussy, mm-hmm, guess I could have been a new psychic. So I just am coming a mile away. So you're here to arrest me, then Actually I'm here because the money we found in Madame Zora's hand yielded DNA evidence. Jerry Harford Sound familiar. I do not know him.
Siobhan:Sounds like every other white dude that's ever been here. You think he may have killed Madame Zora.
Motel Manager (from the movie):I don't know you like what you see. Oh no, this poor man, maybe something less compromising.
Siobhan:And more special.
Mike (from the movie):What are you implying? Let me offer you something better.
Rob / Chris:Let me give you this special no charge.
Siobhan:I wonder what makes it so good, just dead guy head. Oh, I'm just saying.
Rob / Chris:Double entendre there. Dead guy head-head.
Jerry (from the movie):Yeah.
Rob / Chris:It's that those gummy Like but why Is that? The end. Why was it so alive still? Oh my god.
Siobhan:I guessed it.
Mike (from the movie):I feel very proud of that.
Matt:Yeah, be Harrison.
Siobhan:Well done.
Rob / Chris:I really did enjoy the message of it all, which I don't think a lot of horror movies and maybe I don't watch enough, but I don't think a lot of horror movies really give you that kind of Some do, but yeah. Layers Like Journey.
Siobhan:Yeah, that was quite the good time.
Rob / Chris:I laughed.
Siobhan:The good time, oh my god. Well, what a time.
Motel Manager (from the movie):Yes.
Siobhan:I definitely won't look at Jello again, thank you.
Matt:And I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for listening to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe.
