Booze Battle - "War Time Leaders"

Join Matt and his friends Andy, Big Z, and Rob for the first ever Booze Battle! Matt and his friends have each chosen a great war time leader as their champion. Leonidas the 1st, General George S. Patton, George Washington, and Winston Churchill battle it out in an epic booze filled fracas to determine who will earn the title of Booze Battle Champion! 

Expert commentary for the action will be provided by special guests Chucky Roberts and Stephan Weasler! 

Transcript

Theme

Matt 1:13

We have liftoff.

Rob 1:17

Welcome to Matt and Fred. Break the Universe. This is the Booze Battle Arena. The place's prolific inebriates and their dreams of choice faced off in the pursuit of eternal glory. The universe is a mysterious, vast, and often violent place. So too are the battles fought in this hallowed space. Temporal tastes that transcend space and time will collide in a spectacle to determine which tip is the most stellar. Once again, we're pouring our way through the universe to answer a question that no one is asking. It's time for a boom! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome! I'm Chucky Roberts here with my co-maker and your favorite colorblind color commentator, Stepan Whistler! How are we, Stepan? It's all black and white to me. Good to be with you tonight, Chucky, and great to be with you, Stefan. Always reminds me of my pet schowser. That's right, that's right. We're here on BPN5! Boomnetwork.com! For our Spanish-speaking friends, that's Tinko Drinko! That's so inclusive of you, Stefan! Holy! The casters were challenged to pick a historical figure or fictional character to represent them in this arena as their champion. Starting with George S. Patton, a decorated four-star US general. He left tanks into battle, but what did he know about getting tanks?

Matt 3:11

Next up is George Washington, leader of the revolutionary armies and the first president of the United States. His teeth are made of wood, but will his choice of drink be any good?

Leonidas

Rob 3:21

Then we have Leonidas I, King and leader of the armies of Sparta! The Persian arrows may have blacked out the sun, but this man drank in the shade!

Matt 3:32

And bringing us back to World War II, Sir Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister. The only thing bigger than the British Bulldog's historic speeches were his boos pills. Will his legendary levels of bravado and consumption be enough to bid his competition? Cheerio!

Rob 3:47

Pip-pip, Stefan, pip, pip! Let's get down to the action.

Matt 3:53

Alright, welcome back to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe. We're gonna go around the table and introduce ourselves.

Rob 3:59

Hi guys, this is Rob. My champion today is Leonidas I of Sparta.

Big Z 4:04

I'm gonna be known as Big Z, and I have the eventual winner of this, George S. Patton.

Andy 4:09

I'm Andy, and I have the original George, George Washington.

Matt 4:12

I'm your host, Matt, and I have the British Bulldog himself, Winston Churchill.

Andy 4:17

You almost forgot it there.

Matt 4:18

I it's been a long morning, you know. It's been a long morning. I almost killed Andy earlier.

Big Z 4:24

So he seems to be doing well though.

Matt 4:26

Yes. So why don't we get straight to the drinks? Rob, you're gonna go first. Okay.

Rob 4:32

Well, uh red wine. Um, it is what it is. The uh the Spartans actually liked to drink in moderation to help numb the pain of battle, but they knew that if they drank too much, that it would actually affect their combat. So we've got egg I'm not gonna say this right. Nasakos. You got this. Agrio kiko, dry red wine. Uh let's pour it around the table. Who's got vessels? Vessels. Yep.

Matt 5:02

So we're gonna give this a try here. Now, if you're drinking the dead in the pain, that doesn't sound like something you do in moderation.

Rob 5:08

Well, yeah, they had to keep their wits sharp. They had to be uh that's that's a lot of wine. You know, it's alright. That's how we get it going. Are you not here to to drink? Are you not here to drink? This is true.

Matt 5:21

As he said, this is red wine. Yes. Jesus, he's nice. Yeah, it's it's a heavy pour. So we're drinking out of solo cups, and nobody told Rob when you hit the first ridge, it's three ounces. You think that I can see the ridges from here?

Rob 5:34

I'm pouring across the table, man. So anyway, the Spartans typically drank a red or a sour wine, is what they would make in their region. Let's give this a try. I'm gonna let it breathe a little bit. It's not terrible. I'm not really a big wine guy. Not that I'm making a good case for winning this battle here or anything like that. But, you know, uh, I was trying to go a little bit outside of the box since most people were going for more modern peace. Outside the modern leaders. Yeah, outside the box wine. Slap that one. Well, 2019's a good year for this.

Matt 6:05

As presumably the only person to take a college wine class here, I'm gonna say that this definitely came out of an oak barrel. Yep. Heavy tannin taste to it, very warm flavor, a little bit of notes of fruit going on there towards the edge.

Big Z 6:19

I get some cherry.

Matt 6:20

Yeah, definitely some cherry in there, but definitely dry. I don't know if that's the one we wanted to start off with right away, but well I'm actually not gonna lie.

Big Z 6:28

It's not bad. It's not bad.

Rob 6:31

It's not great, but it's a lovely yeah, it would be lovely with with meat, I think. Uh so enemy. Hey. Uh this says it's a soft, rounded, and fruity on the palate with aromas of blackberries and forest fruits. Goes well with all lamb dishes. Of course. It's from Greece, so I mean, why not uh why not say that it goes with lamb? Don't eat no meat? Okay. I make lamb.

Big Z 6:56

I make lamb. A bunt cake.

Matt 6:59

A bunt?

Big Z 6:59

Bunt cake.

Matt 7:00

Bunk bunk. So was bunk was Leonidas a prolific drinker? Did the history books reflect that in some way?

Rob 7:08

Well, no, I as I was saying, like, culturally, the Spartans in general were really renowned for their fitness and their wartime prowess.

Big Z 7:17

This is Sparta!

Rob 7:19

That's right. That's right. Great abs.

Big Z 7:22

And uh That's why I said it.

General George S. Patton

Matt 7:25

Absolutely. They did not need any sort of plate armor on the front, apparently. That's right, that's right.

Rob 7:30

They did not overly indulge themselves because then they would be sloppy in combat, and that was unacceptable. Because if you were sloppy in combat, you're dead. You're clearly not gonna defeat what was it, 10,000 Persians? Yeah, I mean, I don't I'm not sure what it was, but uh them them hotgates were hot. I mean, that's hot gate summer.

Big Z 7:51

I mean Well, just enough to numb the your ambitions.

Rob 7:55

So that's right. Charge in there. Get rid of the fear and and kind of take away some of the dull aches and pains that they would have from training hard.

Matt 8:03

And that Persian army's not really that big. That's only like a hundred triremes. We'll be fine. Yeah, you know. But uh to thermopylae.

Andy 8:13

To thermopylae? A toast that's never been made before.

Rob 8:18

We're here breaking ground on Madden Friends DTU, you know? Breaking ground. Cheers, gentlemen.

Matt 8:24

So Big Z, I'm looking across the table here at a cutting board and a lemon and a man prepared to make something.

Big Z 8:31

Let's get old Jim Beam out here.

Rob 8:33

Oh my goodness. Hello, Jim. That bottle's wearing a sweater.

Big Z 8:37

Sure did. It's cold outside. It's the holidays. Jim is now warm. Alright, so for today, I have George. George Patton had a couple different drinks. He had the diesel, which you referred to when we were talking earlier this morning, which is sort of a mashup of different alcohols that they had lying around that they would like to kind of drink before and after battle. And then he had his favorite, which was shaved ice. We're gonna deviate slightly from that with cubed ice, sugar, lemon, and bourbon.

Rob 9:03

Alright. Is that there a name for that?

Big Z 9:05

Cocktail? Shaved ice, sugar, lemon, and bourbon.

Rob 9:11

So no would have been an acceptable answer to my question. That'll be the patented name for it.

Big Z 9:17

So I'm gonna let you add your own sugar because I don't really like things sweet, so I don't. Everybody take a cup, some sugar, and I'll pass out some lemons.

Matt 9:25

Cut me, blazer.

Big Z 9:26

I got you.

Matt 9:28

So Big Z showed up this morning with a baggie of white powder. That's true. Did anybody smell that? It's sugar. Okay. Turns out it is. Maybe.

Big Z 9:38

Definitely sugar.

Matt 9:43

Alright. There's two ice sizes in there. There's the giant like yeah, huge cubes and then regular size.

Andy 9:50

Holy moly. That's that's cute, bro. Go bigger, go home. It's gonna be loud in the metal coffee.

Matt 9:56

Hit me right here in the Matt and Friends drink the universe. Yeti. Yeti, I need you to start making these yellow tumblers again, please. Any minute now would be great.

Rob 10:05

Oh my god. Jimmy. Beam me up.

Big Z 10:11

So the fun fact, there is all boy.

Matt 10:14

Oh glad there's no electronics on the table. That's why there's a napkin. That is why the mixing console is not on the main table right there. That might be alcohol abuse. What you couldn't see, dear listeners, was Big Z just shower the table in Jim Beam. Oh good.

Big Z 10:32

Andy, my hand's been all in that, so there you go.

Matt 10:34

Nice.

Big Z 10:35

You're drinking my hand now. Nice. Alright.

Rob 10:37

It's got that hand flavor. Somebody give me that sugar.

Matt 10:40

There's a lot of sugar. Guess for the record, you didn't skip on a bourbon in this thing either.

Big Z 10:45

Yeah, also uh heavy-headed pork. Patton did like a drink or two. So while you're putting your sugar in, Patton was an interesting guy. He did a lot of good things. He grew up in a wealthy family on the West Coast, California. He had a strong sense of service, which is why he enrolled in West Point. Graduated pretty decently in his class. They did a uh it's not a triathlon. It's a fifth athlon. Fifth alon?

Rob 11:06

A five part? A pentathlon?

Big Z 11:08

Sure, a pentathlon. That's good.

Rob 11:09

Yeah, you know the Greeks the Greeks invented that stuff. Well played, sir. That's right. That was good. That's right.

Big Z 11:17

That was good. I'm gonna go with fifth athlon because it sounds a lot better.

Andy 11:19

Um so the same thing, but you drink a fifth.

Big Z 11:23

Correct. Running, horseback riding, swimming, fencing, and shooting. He finished fifth in the world. I guess like a lot of different worlds. Many worlds. Participate in that, finished fifth in the world, and then came back and was given the class of master swordsman before he started fencing. Oh yeah, uh, he could operate the sword.

Rob 11:50

Wow.

Big Z 11:51

Take a sip. So I think the acid cuts nicely through the uh the harshness of the gym beam.

Matt 11:58

I don't mind this. I'm getting gin beam. That that's straight up. That's what I'm getting. Did you put sugar in it?

Andy 12:05

I put a lot of sugar. Yeah, we're gonna have that. Hold on. There was a lot of sugar in here before I went to Matt.

Big Z 12:10

So my bag is gone. Squeeze the lemon.

Matt 12:13

Squeeze the lemon?

Big Z 12:14

Yeah, you got that lemon in there, man. I can cut some more for you as well. I have a cutting board and another lemon.

Matt 12:20

You do.

Big Z 12:20

And this one is firm. Supple, really.

Rob 12:25

Squeeze the lemon.

Big Z 12:26

Squeeze it in there.

Rob 12:27

Yes.

Big Z 12:28

I actually enjoy this.

Rob 12:29

I'm a fan. It's not bad. It reminds me of like if you wanted an old-fashioned but didn't have what you needed to make an old fashioned, and you were like, you know what? This is what I have.

Andy 12:40

If you want an old-fashioned, but you're way too lazy for it.

Big Z 12:43

Yeah, like finding bitters would be astronomically hard.

Rob 12:46

Who cares about simple syrup and an orange peel when you have a lemon and some sugar lying around it?

Matt 12:51

Well, let's be honest, if you're in the middle of the Egyptian desert, very good. This is probably gonna be what you get.

Big Z 12:57

Or after D-Day in the middle of uh Europe.

Matt 13:00

Yep.

Big Z 13:00

You don't get a lot of options then. Which is why I I thought about getting a better bourbon for today, but I was like, ah there's no buffalo trace rolling around.

Rob 13:09

No. No D-Day?

Big Z 13:11

No way.

Rob 13:15

I'm just saying.

Big Z 13:16

Buffaloing around.

Rob 13:18

No buffaloes in the desert.

Big Z 13:19

I like it. I put it out of your red red wine for sure.

Rob 13:23

I mean, on taste, absolutely. I'm not a wine guy, so like, unless it's like a spectacular wine, I'm not gonna get excited about it. So yeah, I'm not really making a strong case for myself here, no, am I?

Matt 13:35

My drink sucks, and my guy wasn't a prolific drinker. He kind of showed some restraint. Probably not the way you go for this podcast. Ever.

Rob 13:42

Well, you know, at the same time, like on a physical fitness contest, I'm pretty sure you would have killed every single one of your champions, like hand-to-hand combat.

Andy 13:50

I mean, that's Oh, he had a tank. Dude, my drink.

Matt 13:55

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you miss the Master Swordsman achievement? Life unlocked over there.

Big Z 14:00

Something like Patton led in, I don't know how many troops. He lost 137,000 troops and did three times the damage over his his wartime.

Andy 14:09

Hashtag tanks.

Big Z 14:10

Yeah.

Rob 14:10

Like I'm not saying like technology versus technology here. Because obviously Patton wins in a battle of technology.

Big Z 14:19

Eisenhower would be like, hey, blow by this town in Germany, because you will need four tank regiments to take it. And he'd get the message and be like, hey, I took it with two. Do you want me to give it back?

Matt 14:29

I'm just gonna say no matter how good those Leonidas abs are, a tank shell to the abdomen. You don't win that.

Big Z 14:37

Yeah. No. No. No. Patton also died mysteriously in 1945. He was given political assignments after the war with the buildup of the what would become the Cold War between Russia and the United States. Had some unsavory things to say about both sides. So he was in a low-speed car accident and died several days later after that as a result of an aneurysm, a blood clot. And if you read some of the theorists out there, he was assassinated by both the United States and Russian governments at the same time.

Rob 15:07

I bet you Russia was the one that tried to get him with that low-speed car accident. Now in the 50s, they really didn't work together.

Big Z 15:13

No, no, no, no. I knew that. It was like 40, no, it was 1945. It was just after the war. Like he made it a year after the war, and then this happened.

Matt 15:20

So I will say the lemon is soaking. That is really good.

Big Z 15:23

That's phenomenal, actually. I was making a steak last night and I was drinking this because I wanted to give it a go. I will say that the crushed ice I used last night also was better. It soaked in faster. But uh, I'm a fan. I could drink this.

Rob 15:37

I would have this again. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Big Z 15:39

Like I like if I walked into a bar and was like, I don't want a beer, which would never happen. Um like ever, I'd be like, I could do this. There you go. So the podcast is over. I've won.

Matt 15:50

You know, I well, well, there's there's I'm not gonna go that far, but I will give you one of these.

Rob 15:58

Stellar said, Yeah, that's pretty good.

Big Z 16:04

It's not bad.

Matt 16:05

You have enough of those, you will care far less about desert heat as well.

Big Z 16:09

Yeah.

Matt 16:10

Fair enough. Although I don't know how well. I was gonna say, drunk in a tank doesn't sound like fun.

Big Z 16:18

Again, most of Europe was destroyed, so like following road rules was not like a thing. That's fair. Not a thang at that point.

Matt 16:25

You get a DUI in a tank?

Big Z 16:27

Yeah, absolutely.

Matt 16:28

I I think it's a DUI in a bike.

Rob 16:30

It's a T UI.

Halftime

Andy 16:31

Wasn't there a tanking under the insulator? Survey of the other year of a guy getting a DUI on a tractor. Yep. Like a lawnmower.

Big Z 16:37

Yep. Anything uh drive scene.

Rob 16:39

One of my friend's neighbors got a DUI riding a power wheels down a main road. That's outstanding. Yeah, that really is. It's a great story. It's a great story. I wish I knew more of the details. If he were here, he could regale you with the real kind of power wheels. I think it was a jeep. Oh, that's regular or Barbie Jeep?

Big Z 16:57

No, probably regular.

Rob 16:58

I think it was a regular Jeep. Okay, all right.

Matt 17:00

They make a Barbie Jeep. I was not present for this. I've talked about my seven-year-old daughter before on the podcast. They definitely make a Barbie Jeep.

Big Z 17:08

It's a Jeep. I feel like a Corvette or Barbie vet.

Matt 17:11

They make a Barbie everything. I have a Barbie dream house blocked down the street.

Big Z 17:20

It's a Barbie world. I'm a Barbie girl. What happens?

Matt 17:26

When you go red wine bourbon without a warm-up.

Big Z 17:31

I regret not drinking more water before I came here this morning.

George Washington

Rob 17:34

Hydration is key. Hydration is key, Stephon. And with that, we have reached halftime in this booze battle. Let me throw it to you for your Weasler's whits.

Matt 17:46

Thank you very much, Chucky. I just witnessed a rumble between a topless freaking man and a tank of a tanker. While that red wine was rather fine, I preferred to hydrate like that. Hydrate with whiskey.

Rob 18:01

Very well in today's chucky chuckle. Seems to be out of fine for this fruit today's buttons. And Big Z came out of the case with that BD!

Matt 18:15

Big drink energy.

Rob 18:17

Exactly right, Stefan. What else could that be? I have literally no idea.

Matt 18:22

But let's go back down on the action. I will say I find some irony in the fact that Big Z's shirt, while he brought George Patton, says, Hold my beer, George Washington, which brings us to Andy. It's a perfect lead up. Shut out to Gunstyle.

Andy 18:39

Perfect. Andy, what do we got going? So where'd I put it? I don't know. Alright, so Washington was uh quite known for the booze. The booze. There are records of people visiting him, and he had quite the stockpile of beer and porter. He was known for being a brewer. Basically, what we would now call moonshine. At that point, it was whiskey. He was known to uh distill 11,000 gallons of it a year. Wow. Which, you know, I guess hashtag goals. Uh but yeah. What I brought with me, I brought some sherry with me. Too bad the Discovery Channel wasn't around then. Right? Some sherry, huh? Some sherry. So what's what's the sherry called there? This is uh dry sacks. Oh, you don't say I do say it's a cream for that. Is there a moisturize? I mean I'm I don't know. Little gold bond? Little gold bond will get it get you going there. But uh yeah, so Washington was known for keeping brandy in his canteen at all times. And uh I didn't have any brandy, but Sherry's pretty close, so that's what we went with. All right, okay.

Matt 19:52

Popular of the day. My sherry among that is a good song. Oh, see, I went, I think it's Frankie Valley Sherry. Sherry Baby! Sherry, there you go. Bert, you're gonna go for the high notes? No.

Rob 20:09

I don't know that song, so you don't know that song? My word, guy. That was a lot. It's gonna be a long time. Oh, it's got a it's got a fortified wine smell to it. It does. Woo.

Big Z 20:20

Oh, cooking with this would be phenomenal.

Rob 20:22

It smells like like a port almost. This tastes like old plums or figs or something. Like they're oh god. Like I feel like you just soaked fig newtons in a cheesecloth and wrung it out into this bottle, and that is what we've got here.

Andy 20:40

I gotta say, uh I expected better. Raisins. Yeah, raisins. A lot of raisins. A lot of raisins. Yeah, like dried fruit.

Rob 20:47

What does it say on the bottle? Are we anywhere close?

Andy 20:51

Dry salad.

Rob 20:54

Well, hey, they weren't lying if they're drying out fruit. Ah.

Andy 20:58

Hey. Distinctive blend of sherry's aged and oak casks.

Big Z 21:03

I was gonna say oak again for this one for sure.

Matt 21:06

The last time I had sherry was actually in she crab soup, which is really, really good. I'm telling you right now, if you we cook something with this, absolutely fine. In what? She crab soup. Is that like they're only killing lady crabs? Like, what's going on with that? You know, I asked the bartender that question, and I just got a head shake and a walk away. I'm honestly not sure it's cream-based bisque.

Andy 21:27

Well, what you should be getting, according to the bottle, go off is uh women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery. So you're saying there's no information on what they've actually used to do.

Big Z 21:45

That's all I got. They left out tank on that warning. I'm just gonna say you know what?

Andy 21:48

I serve chilled. I'd like to believe. Bus served chilled or on the rock, so you might want to drop another rock in the back.

Big Z 21:55

Does anybody want a cube produced and bottled in Spain?

Rob 21:58

I'd like to believe that they castrated a bowl and just let his uh very large eye sack and not much liquid. Oh my god.

Andy 22:13

Let me get a smaller cube there.

Rob 22:14

Does anybody else support my theory? I wasn't listening. We're watching Matt make a mess. It was made in Spain, right? So they cast rated a bowl, they let the sack dry out, and they've just fermented that in this liquid. Yeah, that's what that's what it is.

Matt 22:29

Are you familiar with the taste of dried fermented sack? No.

Rob 22:34

I mean, I just put it in my mouth right now.

Matt 22:35

So I'm just gonna say Rocky Mountain Oysters. Big Z and Rob for gratuitous testicle talk. Finish your cherry. Oh, Jesus.

Andy 22:45

Can't let that sack go to loose.

Matt 22:48

Uh no, it's it's uh see, I I think actually what's going on is the ice cube is melting and and diluting mine a little bit. That's on the other hand is helping.

Rob 22:57

You get more of the wood though. Uh You know, when you chug it, you get more of the awful. But let's be honest. Let's be honest.

Matt 23:05

If we were all to go out drinking in seventeen seventy six, we would not be experiencing the same thing during it's coming out of probably barrels that have been used for the nineteenth time. Port wine or sherry would have come over on a boat from Europe and it would have taken two, three months to get here. Yeah, could have had plenty. I have heard stories too of Washington and the Founding Fathers when they were drafting like the Declaration of Independence, they were drinking and consuming just an insane amount of alcohol. Like the bar would run out of beer. It was just barrel upon barrel upon barrel and they would go through over the course of a week.

Big Z 23:47

I mean, I'm just I'm being honest. Like I feel like we know how to ferment at a higher level now.

Rob 23:51

I don't know that they would have known. I think they just would have put it all together and been like, oh, this gives me a fun feeling. Let's let's keep going with it. Like I don't know that they had anything to measure alcohol content back then.

Big Z 24:03

Aspect gravity and all that stuff is something that they wouldn't have done. That's a brewer talk, by the way.

Rob 24:08

Yeah.

Big Z 24:09

Oh no, first president. So there's something to be said about that. Iconic scene coming across the Delaware. Something to be said about that. Why am I making your case? But anyway, I mean, there's something to say about it. I was going to there is. There is.

Andy 24:21

He was the guy and a prolific drinker. Um like I said, it was famous for always having good there.

Rob 24:29

I think so. Joking on that dry stack.

Andy 24:31

Speaking of not prolific drinkers.

Matt 24:33

Three very different tastes so far. That's all I'm gonna say. Three very different things.

Andy 24:38

We're all over the message. Absolutely. I just added the sherry to the uh the patent. It's pretty good. That's pretty good. It's pretty good.

Big Z 24:45

Yeah. Actually, that's not a bad idea. I was unable to chug mine. I threw it.

Matt 24:50

You're gonna add the sherry to the patent?

Andy 24:51

I added the sherry to what was left of my patent. Alright. And it it was it was quite nice.

Matt 24:56

The two enormous ice cubes that were thrown at me here are you know what, Matt? Oh my gosh.

Rob 25:02

Which one of these buttons does the chug? Uh yeah.

Big Z 25:06

Get out of there.

Rob 25:07

There it is. Finish that. Finish it.

Big Z 25:10

We're trying to kill Andy this morning. Quick check. Andy's still alive? Still check. Alright, Andy's still living.

Andy 25:18

So good. Wellser might not be. Uh-oh. Yeah. We're alright.

Winston Churchil

Matt 25:22

We're alright. It's gone. I remember my first chug. I can't chug. Well, just drink it. All right. You you want to get into it? Do you remember the time that we were in college? Don't go. No, no, no. Oh, we're going to. And we had you had a massive amount of eggs and hot dogs for right now. Huh? Do you feel healthy? I feel like I just had a large breakfast.

Rob 25:46

No, no, no, no, no. I'm asking, are you healthy enough that I can finish your drink because you're too much of a put that back down.

Matt 25:53

I'll finish it when you're ready. But I just I wanted to remind you of the time you vomited eggs and hot dogs all over a nice apartment. That's like a little bit of a big thing.

Big Z 26:08

You never throw up at any of my college events. No. No. I guess I didn't. No, you did not. No.

Matt 26:13

Didn't you wear a dress at one point?

Big Z 26:15

You know? My future wife's dress, yes.

Rob 26:18

Well, she's your wife now. She was your future wife back then.

Big Z 26:22

That's that is actually exactly what I thought it would be. That was slow well played. Car crash. But the way it happened, it would have to look away.

Matt 26:36

So if this is a slow car crash, that probably brings us to the moment of impact here as I start to talk about Winston Churchill. On the top of the list of people whose daily drinking regimen you wouldn't want to keep pace with is definitely Winston Churchill.

Big Z 26:50

That's for sure.

Matt 26:50

I'll give you the kind of cliff notes version as I understand it after doing a little bit of research. When he would wake up in the morning, he would start with the drink that I'm going to pour right now, and that was a little Johnny Walker red label in Club Soda. Just a scotch and soda right off the bat. He'd mix a pretty weak one as what he called his mouthwash first thing in the morning. And then as the day went on, the ratio of scotch to soda drastically shifted. So by the time he hit the afternoon, it was more scotch with a coloring of club soda. There were also other things going on for lunch. It was typical that he would down an entire bottle of champagne. So he'd normally have about three of those before lunch. Good lord. He would then nap and do his correspondence at three.

Big Z 27:33

I'm not even B A C was like an inebriated. Oh, I'm not even.

Andy 27:38

I remember once hearing the term functional alcoholic.

Big Z 27:41

Yeah, no, he he he crushed that. In the dictionary. Good Lord.

Andy 27:43

Sure, children.

Matt 27:45

Yeah, absolutely. After that bottle of champagne for lunch, he would take a nap. Then he'd wake up around three, have between two to three glasses of scotch as he did his correspondence in office work. When dinner rolled around, it was normally a bottle of champagne or a bottle of sherry or a bottle of brandy. If it was champagne, it was like two bottles. A whole bottle of dry sack. A whole bottle of bottle of dry sack. A whole sack.

Big Z 28:06

A whole sack.

Matt 28:07

All at once. Good lord. There was definitely brandy with dessert, and then probably a few more scotch and sodas. And before bedtime, a big scotch or more champagne.

Big Z 28:17

So I've listened to this whole thing. Yeah. I think the key is the nap.

Matt 28:21

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's gotta be. I might be feeling the nap out there.

Rob 28:24

And one thing you didn't mention is wasn't he also a prolific cigar smoker?

Matt 28:28

Yes, and I was gonna end with that. That normally it was four to six cigars a day that were sprinkled over top. That's insane. Listen, yeah, like I love a good cigar.

Rob 28:38

I was drinking, and it's it's a whole nother. Well, it is. When you start mixing, especially if you get a good cigar with like premium tobacco, you actually get something off of it that you don't realize you're getting until you're into it. And you're like, whoa.

Andy 28:52

But and there's also the Churchill cigar, like that's named after him. Those are long yeah, they're big ones. They're big, long cigars.

Rob 28:59

Like Yeah, you wonder if he was compensating for something I understand.

Matt 29:01

Could have been. Yeah. Kind of like a man that walks around topless in no armor, just holding a long spear. Now that's that's that that's that's a man go with Braves.

Big Z 29:13

Think about it. You show up on the battlefield and you're wearing armor and you look across, and they they're just with that cloth over their junk going, let's do this.

Rob 29:20

Yeah. All right. Oh my god.

Andy 29:23

I don't think that's accurate.

Rob 29:24

I'm pretty sure that's hoploid armor was a thing. I once yakked a whole bunch of red label onto a dumpster outside of a Wendy's.

Matt 29:31

Are we doing ice cubes for this? Fun story. No, he did not do this with any ice whatsoever. Where's the club soda that you opened?

Rob 29:38

In the center of the table, labeled club soda. Well, I thought there was a second bottle of it. I'm sorry. There is on the floor over there.

Andy 29:45

Kenettia Dry. Give me a little one. I am not Churchill. That's good.

Big Z 29:49

Anti-Climactic.

Matt 29:51

Who needs the club? The part I love about that, the part I love about that is he would do his correspondence over three glasses of scotch. I don't think I could operate email over three glasses of scotch in that short a period of time.

Big Z 30:04

Yeah, he's handwriting. I mean, Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Matt 30:06

He was dictating, and there was somebody on a typewriter sitting in front of him doing it for him.

Big Z 30:10

Dictator, not typed. Or written.

Matt 30:13

Written. I want the kick Hitler laugh.

Big Z 30:16

Listen, okay, I can type that.

Rob 30:18

I'll tell you.

Big Z 30:19

How big depth was he on his fireside chat? Fireside chats?

Andy 30:23

Isn't that Churchill? No. Wrong country, man. Right time fearing, but wrong country. Who's the fireside? It's FDR. That's my bad.

Rob 30:31

It's not bad anymore. He had polio. I mean, it's a fact. It's true. They tried to hide it. Turns out it's uh curable by vaccine. Alright, this is awful. What, my facts? Or this drink?

Big Z 30:41

Your facts are excellent. Without ice, this is terrible. Oh.

Andy 30:46

I feel like the the Oh, I don't hate it. So I I don't hate it. I'm a whiskey fan. The club soda's killing it.

Rob 30:55

The club soda is destroying it. It tastes like a flat soda.

Big Z 30:59

Black or blue. I mean, it's just it's rough.

Matt 31:02

See, I did put a lot more club soda in mine than I did red label. It does even it out a little bit. Club soda, me then.

Big Z 31:08

I want to give it a fair shake for you.

Matt 31:09

Listen. I mean, the man in the morning, he would kind of just color it with red label and then drink it. And then as the day went on, it was mostly scotch. So here's my thing.

Andy 31:17

I'll go for some more club soda, but I don't think it's a little bit more than a little bit more.

Rob 31:20

Have you ever gone to the movies or gone to like a fast food restaurant? Yes. And they give you a they give you a soda, and you can clearly tell the syrup is running out. And you're like, oh, something's off with this. That's what this reminds me of.

Matt 31:33

Well, that is essentially what club soda is. It's carbonated water.

Big Z 31:37

I no, I'm sorry. I can't. I don't like it. That's no good. It's yeah, because then all you have is fizz and club soda with a like a little bit of Johnny Walker.

Rob 31:45

And let's be honest, I don't love Johnny Walker.

Big Z 31:47

Well, not red. You get to some of the more aged ones, you're okay. I'm not saying it's my oaky though. Sure.

Rob 31:54

So here's the thing. I feel like I'm just licking an oak barrel.

Matt 31:58

I don't think you understand liquor then. You want the Johnny Walker people to send me angry email, don't you? No. That is not a big one. One man's opinion, Johnny Walker, does not make it a lot of people.

Andy 32:09

We want Johnny Walker to send us samples of different lines of fine beverages.

Matt 32:14

Yes, we'd love to sample blue. I've never tasted it. Would love to sample blue.

Big Z 32:18

Oh my god, blue is amazing. Blue and black are phenomenal. From a scotch, what are you doing? We've never sampled blue, and we would love free samples. I heard from my father once. There you go. Thank you.

Rob 32:29

There it is. There it is. But but what I'm saying is, I'm a child when it comes to scotch, so my palate likes the sherry cask scotches, like a Glenn Maranji and stuff like that. So like the super oaky, super peedy licking a campfire stuff, I can't do it. Like my palate is not accustomed to it and does not like that.

Andy 32:46

This isn't super peedy.

Rob 32:47

It's not, isn't it? No, no, no. This one isn't. I'm just talking about scotch in general.

Matt 32:51

Out of all these prolific drinkers and military leaders, that's what I'm talking about. Hold on.

Rob 32:56

Yeah?

Big Z 32:56

I don't think Churchill is a military leader. Ooh, hot take. He's he was the chairman. He was uh uh the chancellor, he wasn't a battlefield guy. I think by default, your guy's the prime minister guy. That's what I said.

Rob 33:10

You know, I mean, other countries have different things than we do.

Big Z 33:15

Prime Minister, he he's not a battlefield guy.

Matt 33:16

It's the equivalent of the president of the United States. Uh led the army before he was the president. Yeah. Correct. Wow. But Churchill did organize the war effort for Great Britain, including the full. He provided the tools for the men and women to die upon. He directly organized a rescue flotilla of troops trapped in Europe. So the British flotilla mean. So in this case, the definition of a flotilla is a civilian grouping of boats that Churchill went, hey, we gotta get the army out of France before they all get run the hell over.

Rob 33:53

Oh, they made a movie about that called Dunkirk.

Andy 33:57

If you haven't seen Dunkirk like that, that isn't a he's not a he's not a military.

Matt 34:02

He was a leader during the largest war in human history. Yeah, but he wasn't on the wartime.

Rob 34:07

He wasn't wartime leaders, not wartime generals. Wartime generals. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, go ahead. There can be made arguments for every single one of us to win this. Okay, because each champion has their, you know, piste de résistance, right? They're famous for a reason. Patton has his tanks, right? So from a technology standpoint, nobody's beaten Patton. If we're pitting Patton against anybody else on a battlefield and he's got a tank and everybody else is just standing there.

Matt 34:40

Churchill had a direct line to the guy commanding Patton and go, hey, could you turn that guy a little to the left? Yeah, sure, no problem. Patton probably wasn't gonna listen. He didn't. No one had a direct line to Patton.

Andy 34:52

But Patton did his own thing.

Rob 34:54

I'm not sure Patton always had a direct line to Patent. So so so we we've we've got Patton with the tech, we've got Leonidas with his hand-to-hand comment prowess. We've got Churchill, the biggest drinker of them all, right? Like based upon what you said. So like if we're voting for the champion who has the best tolerance the craziest uh ability to drink, you know, Churchill takes it. But which sip was the most stellar? Which beverage that we tasted that we sampled today was the best? And I'm gonna have to go with patent on this.

Big Z 35:23

I'm with the I'm the only one with the stellar sip, by the way.

Matt 35:26

It's true. That is true. That is true. Remember, gentlemen, it is not just France we fight for, it is champagne. No, dude.

Rob 35:34

The old sack was gross. Um and and your oh, dry sack. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Big Z 35:39

Also one of the same, though.

Rob 35:41

The dry old sack. Uh both both the old dry sack. Whatever we're calling it, it was gross. And your your soda and Johnny Walker was it was bad.

Andy 35:54

I know that's like a common thing.

Matt 35:56

Well, I think I even got maybe I'm still drinking it. Like, I actually like it. I do, I enjoy it. Well, I mean I mean, have at it, big guy.

Rob 36:05

If we're gonna go around the table, my vote is Patton. Patton wins this battle.

Big Z 36:09

I think Patton wins it all, frankly.

Andy 36:12

I mean, Washington single-handedly started the French and Indian War.

Big Z 36:15

This is a good point. This is a solid point.

Andy 36:17

It might have been a mistake, but he single-handedly did it pretty much. But he did do it.

Matt 36:20

But what does that have to do with this battle? He did also win a war that everybody on the planet was like, that guy's gonna lose. There's no way they're winning that war.

Big Z 36:30

Well, they actually a form of tactics too coming out of the trees and not that standing.

Matt 36:36

Created that culture. Created the created the culture.

Rob 36:40

I'm sorry. Prince of Thieves.

Big Z 36:42

Yeah, yeah.

Rob 36:43

Also a great movie. Great movie.

Big Z 36:44

Can we move on out of this?

Rob 36:46

Or the Patriot is a fantastic movie.

Andy 36:50

I don't know if I'd say fantastic. I enjoy it. It's okay. I enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong. It was like quality Mel Gibson before everybody knew he was an asshole. Best part of the movie was always an asshole.

Big Z 36:58

Mel Gibson. I guess he was.

Andy 37:00

But we didn't we didn't know it. But we didn't know. Best part of the movie Mel Gibson sitting in the chair, feeling all smug, falling on his butt. Chef's good. Love it. Every time.

Rob 37:10

Anyway, uh my vote is for.

Andy 37:11

I'm voting for Patton. I I'm also.

Matt 37:13

That's three for three for Patton. Who are you voting for? I'm I'm gonna vote for Washington because he founded that fighting spirit, that fighting culture that remains in America. I can't. I mean, that's very patriotic of you, but did you like the old sack?

Big Z 37:26

No.

Rob 37:28

I don't know why I keep thinking it's old. Did you like the dry sack?

Matt 37:31

They're one and the same. Why do you have an obsession with old sack?

Big Z 37:34

I don't. I'm just I forget what it's called. He's a sackman. Listen, I have to agree with Rob. If we're going by drink as our standard, it's Patton hands down.

Matt 37:45

Patton is the only one who had a good drink. In that case, I'm prepared to give it to George S. Patton. Congratulations, Big Z. There we go. First booze battle winner. Thank you. That's right. Four-star general.

Rob 37:58

Stellar said. Hey, to Patton. I'm out of booze. I've chugged all of mine.

Matt 38:05

Alright, everybody. Thank you for joining us today for the first booze battle. Thanks for listening. It's been a crazy time. Keep drinking.

Rob 38:12

George S. Patton. We'll be back soon. We've reached this battle's coda after that scotch and soda.

Matt 38:20

Right, you are, Chucky. The British Bulldog preferred that all day quantity over quality. And Washington's dry sack tasted pretty whack.

Rob 38:29

We already had the boys backstage order him some cream for that off Amazon Prime. A fine idea, a fine idea indeed. And with that, Big Z and his contestant, George S. Patton, with the shaved ice cocktail is the winner of this booze battle. The four-star general really slapped the competition. Indeed he did. And with that, from Stefan and everyone here at BPN, I'm Chucky Roberts, reminding you to set the bar high and always buy a chair that can reach it. Until we see you again in the Booze Battle Arena.

Matt 39:05

Thank you again for listening to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe. Today's boozy quote comes from Churchill himself. I've taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has ever taken out of me. Don't forget to follow us and subscribe wherever you get your podcast from. On social media, press all the buttons for us on Facebook and Instagram. It's Matt Friends DTU. That's Matt and Friends DTU for Facebook and Instagram. For more information about the podcast, please visit www.matriendsdU.com.

Andy 39:31

Hello, listeners. We're all here to have a bit of fun, but we'd like to take a moment to encourage you to always drink responsibly. Never drink and drive. If you have a complicated relationship with alcohol or other substances and want to talk about it, you can call 1-800-662-4357 for support. Cheers and thanks for listening.